Salam dalam nama Bapa, Putra, dan Roh Kudus.
Apakah teman-teman pernah merasa dilema?
Bukan karena tidak tahu mana yang baik, tapi karena dua-duanya terasa benar — hanya saja, dalam arah yang berbeda.
Saat ini, aku sedang berada di persimpangan seperti itu.
Aku punya pacar — sebut saja namanya Abang Sayang.
Ia bertanggung jawab, pekerja keras, baik, dan selalu berusaha melindungi keluarganya. Ia bekerja di distributor obat. Kedua orangtuanya sudah tiada. Beberapa hari lalu, ia bercerita: ada apotek yang order melalui dia senilai 24 juta, tapi ternyata gagal bayar. Akibatnya, gajinya dipotong untuk menanggung kerugian perusahaan.
Motornya terpaksa digadaikan 3 juta demi kebutuhan sehari-hari.
Ia tidak punya tabungan, dan baru bisa menabung awal tahun depan.
Lalu, di sisi lain, datang seseorang yang baru.
Sebut saja dia Orang Baru — lulusan Manajemen Logistik Trisakti, bekerja sebagai admin, tinggal dengan orangtua, dan sudah memiliki tabungan. Hidupnya stabil, tenang, dan masa depannya tampak lebih pasti.
Secara logika, tentu pilihan itu mudah. Tapi hati manusia tidak sesederhana hitungan tabungan atau slip gaji. Aku menyayangi Abang Sayang. Aku tidak ingin meninggalkannya saat dia sedang jatuh. Namun, aku juga takut bila aku bertahan hanya karena kasihan, bukan cinta.
Kini, aku bergulat dengan dua pertanyaan:
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Jika Abang Sayang bangkit secara finansial, apakah aku masih ingin bersamanya karena pribadinya, bukan karena rasa kasihan?
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Jika aku bersama Orang Baru yang lebih stabil, apakah hatiku akan benar-benar damai, atau justru masih menoleh ke masa lalu dengan rasa bersalah?
Kadang aku merasa, dilema seperti ini bukan sekadar soal cinta, tapi juga tentang siapa diriku dan apa yang sebenarnya aku cari dalam hidup ini — keamanan, cinta, atau keduanya?
✨ Refleksi untukmu yang membaca ini:
Pernahkah kamu berada di titik di mana cinta dan logika saling tarik menarik?
Apakah kamu lebih memilih hati yang tenang, atau masa depan yang pasti?
Bagikan ceritamu atau refleksimu di kolom komentar — mungkin kita bisa saling menguatkan di tengah dilema yang tak selalu punya jawaban mudah.
In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Have you ever felt torn in a dilemma?
Not because you don’t know which one is right, but because both choices feel right — just in different directions.
Right now, I’m standing at such a crossroads.
I have a boyfriend — let’s call him My Dear One.
He’s responsible, hardworking, kind, and always tries to protect his family. He works at a pharmaceutical distributor. Both of his parents have passed away. A few days ago, he told me that one of the pharmacies ordered through him for 24 million rupiahs, but the payment fell through. As a result, his salary is being deducted to cover the company’s loss.
He had to pawn his motorcycle for 3 million just to meet daily needs.
He has no savings and can only start saving again early next year.
Then, on the other side, someone new appeared.
Let’s call him The New One — a graduate in Logistics Management from Trisakti University, working as an admin, living with his parents, and already having some savings. His life seems stable, calm, and his future looks more certain.
Logically, the choice should be easy. But the human heart isn’t as simple as numbers on a payslip or the amount in a savings account. I care about My Dear One. I don’t want to leave him when he’s down. Yet, I’m also afraid that I might be staying only out of pity, not love.
Now, I wrestle with two questions:
If My Dear One rises again financially, would I still want to be with him because of who he is, not because I feel sorry for him?
If I choose The New One who’s more stable, would my heart truly be at peace — or would I still glance back at the past with guilt?
Sometimes I feel that this dilemma isn’t just about love,
but also about who I am, and what I truly seek in life —
security, love, or both?
✨ A reflection for you who are reading this:
Have you ever stood at the point where love and logic pull you in opposite directions?
Would you rather choose a peaceful heart, or a certain future?
Share your story or reflection in the comments — perhaps we can strengthen one another amidst dilemmas that don’t always have easy answers.
